Thinking of You
by Rei Tel Aviv
Summary: Tony's trying to talk to Ziva about his latest girlfriend, but all Ziva can think of, is how she wants to shake and bake with Tony in the supply closet. WARNING: Contents inside are ridiculous. You've been warned.


**A/N**: There are some things you do in life.. that just can't be explained with real logic. This story is one of those things.

**Disclaimer**: The only thing I own, is the ridiculous content of this conversation :P I once made a Law & Order: SVU version, I figured NCIS needed one too, ahaha.

**Thinking of You**:

"Hey Zee-vah, can I talk to you about something real quick?" Tony asked her, inching his well-toned bottom onto the edge of her desk.

Ziva smiled and nodded, all the while thinking.. 'You can tell me anything if you just bend over and pick up the pen that I dropped for the thirtieth time today.'

Tony grinned, "Thanks, Ziva. You're always here when I need you," he told her. He glanced at what she was looking at. Her pen was on the floor again a few feet from where they were sitting. And he'd swear she had just been chewing on it a moment ago when he had walked over. He shrugged, and moved to get it, bending over and picking it up.

Ziva cocked her eyebrows up, another smile crossing her lips. 'Now all we need is a little jiggle and a little strip.. and I can be a happy woman,' she thought to her self. She took the pen gratefully and once more began to chew on it as Tony took a seat on her desk corner once more. And she nodded along with his story.

"This new girlfriend I have bugs the hell out of me, Zee-vah," Tony admitted. "I can't figure out what she wants anymore," he explained, sighing some as he said so. It made him wonder what exactly was going through her mind with how intently she was staring at him, without even saying a word.

'I wonder if he wears boxers or briefs..' Ziva thought to herself.

Tony blinked. She was completely unresponsive to him, so he waved his hand in front of her face. "Uh, hello? Zee-vaaah?" he asked, staring at her.

'Boxers would be best.. especially the ones that are not sealed in the front.. I hate those..' Ziva decided.

"Ziva.."

'He would look pretty good if he just walked around with a Santa hat down there..' were Ziva's next thoughts.

"Ziva!" he yelled, shaking her shoulders lightly.

Ziva had a blank look of shock on her face as it registered to her, that he was talking to her. "Sorry.. I drifted off in thought. I was listening, keep going about whatsername.." she told him with a slight shrug. 'And tonight you can come over and instead of shaking my shoulders.. I shall show you how to shake and bake..'

Tony shrugged it off, and nodded. "Sure.. so anyways, Sherry's been real quiet about everything," he told her. "She doesn't pay attention to what I'm saying.. stares off into space.. drifts off and pretends she's listening to what I'm saying," he explained.

"Uh-huh.." Ziva said with a nod. 'Damn it.. it is a good thing there is nothing to show when women are horny. I do not know how men deal.. what the hell does Tony do if he gets a damned hard-on at work?!' she wondered.

"I just don't get it," Tony said. "It's like she's off in her own world, _all_ the time," he stated. "I just don't get how to shake her out of it.."

Ziva nodded. "I would not know.." she told him. 'If she is thinking what I am thinking.. she wants to show you how to shake and bake too..'

Tony stared at her. "Are you actually listening to what I'm saying to you..?"

"Mmhhmm.." Ziva mumbled. 'Whoops Tony.. Look.. the pen dropped to the floor again when you blinked..'

Tony looked at the pen on the floor once again when he saw Ziva's eyes look at it. This was strange. Actually, it was more than strange. It was completely looney. He sighed, stood up, and bent over to pick up the pen once more.

Ziva licked her lips, and this time she just couldn't help it. She gave him a quick pinch on the left cheek, and then went back to the exact same position she'd been in before he'd turned around to get the pen.

"What the hell was that?" Tony asked, handing the pen to Ziva.

Ziva looked at him, and shrugged. "Really big fly?"

Tony thought about it.. then shrugged as well. "Right.. anyways.. about Sherry."

"Uh-huh.." Ziva muttered, chewing on the pen once more. 'Right.. a fly.. and I am going to marry Steve Erkle. I would rather sex you up in the supply closet.. actually.. damn.. I would like to do that.'

"I think she's a real tramp.. I bet that baby isn't even mine," Tony told her, watching for her reaction.

Ziva's expression never changed. "Oh.. really? Too bad.." she told him. 'I wonder what he would do if I made that suggestion about the supply closet..'

"Yeah," Tony began. "You and Sherry had a love child.. I can see the resemblence now."

Ziva nodded. "Sure," she agreed. 'I knew you wanted my love child--wait a second..' she thought instantly. "What the hell did you just say?"

"I knew you weren't listening to me.." Tony said with a groan. "Why the hell doesn't anyone listen to me?" he questioned.

"Well.. no offense, but you just called your girlfriend a tramp and said she had a love-child with your partner, it kind of dissipates conversation, Tony," Ziva explained to him with a pleasant smile on her face the whole time. 'Poor guy.. thought I was not listening.. I always listen to the words from those lips.. lips.. sure do want those lips in the supply closet..'

Tony stared at her, his mouth open in shock.

Ziva just smiled. 'Open mouth.. yeah.. he wants me too.'

"You heard everything I said to you?" he asked her.

Ziva nodded. 'I could show you the shake and bake if you toss the tramp who bore my love child..'

"Did you just mutter something about shake and bake?" Tony asked.

Ziva went silent. "What?"

"I'd swear I just heard you say something about shake and bake.." Tony told her.

"Uh.. right, and your girlfriend and I had an illegitimate love child," Ziva said with a roll of her eyes.

Tony said nothing.

Ziva just smiled and laughed. "Tony.. follow me," she told him, leading him out of the squad room.

Tony stared at her silently for a moment, but after a second, followed her anyways. He had no idea what she was planning, but he didn't really care. Ziva always had her ways to make him feel better about things when they weren't going his way.

Ziva kept leading him until she opened a door.

"Uh.. Zee-vah.. why are we going into the supply closet?" he asked her curiously, the confused expression on his face.

Ziva grinned, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him into the supply closet, shutting the door and locking it. "Well.. did I ever show you how to shake and bake?"

**()()()()()()()()()()**

**Just a quick, amusing break between the chapters of Saving Kate. Hope this gave you guys a good laugh!**

**-Rei**


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